The Domino Effect

The domino effect is a chain reaction that occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby, which then will cause another similar change, and so on in linear sequence.

A beautiful lady shared a story with me today about a contest involving dominoes. This contest took place in Las Vegas. There were three groups in a race to build the biggest and the best structure. Each started out with great enthusiasm building quickly and accurately their creations. In the end an enormous castle with a fence and trees and bridges was built. The castle was elegant and elaborate with every detail imaginable. People were in awe!

After being on view for a while the builder wanted to watch the chain reaction of their structure, so out of the crowd they chose a small older lady to come a push a domino to start the effect. Though she was hesitant in her desire to touch the castle, they encouraged her to just touch a domino on the fence and she did. Within seconds the fence dropped one by one and then the trees, the bridges, and with great momentum the castle released itself piece by piece. The noise from the collapse was so loud the casino went quiet looking to see what had happened.

She went on to talk about how we are dominoes in each other’s lives. A small word, a warm hug, and fresh view can start a spiral of change that never has to come to an end.

What kind of domino are you?

What is your rippled effect in this world?

Change is a blessed part of life if indeed we reach for the place within ourselves that gets touched and embrace the journey, sometimes slowly one by one, and at other times the change comes with great momentum. Hold on tightly, your domino effect can change the world.

Let’s all start building our castles today!

Challenge by Choice

Challenge by Choice is a concept originated by Project Adventure. It asks that participants challenge themselves and participate fully in the experience. Recognizing that any activity or goal may pose a different level and type of challenge for each group member and that authentic personal change comes from within, Challenge by Choice creates an environment where participants are asked to search for opportunities to stretch and grow during the experience. The determination of what kind of participation represents an optimal learning opportunity is the responsibility of each group member. All are asked to add value to the group experience by finding a way to contribute to the group’s efforts while also seeking to find value in the experience for themselves.
 
 ”If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?”
 
 There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
 
“This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.”  Again, a challenge by choice.

 ”If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?”

 Think about it! What challenge is calling you to change? Is there one?

Is It Too Late?

 

I have had a couple of days to digest the weekend mini-retreat “Languages of Love.”  I had such an amazing group of people that gathered to learn how to better show love in a way that made the other person feel most loved.

 The youngest in the group was 16 years old and the range went up to about 65.  I was blown away by the understanding and openness that the under 25 group had.  They seemed to get the fact that learning the way that others understand love will be a huge gift in their future relationships. 

But one person in particular surprised me.  This man is in a relationship that is on the brink of divorce, and it was very important to the relationship that he learned to give love to his wife in a way that made HER feel loved. I was faced with great opposition from this person.  If it didn’t feel like love to him, then he could not understand how it could feel like love to someone else.  I tried to explain that filling someone’s love tank had to do with loving HER in the way that feels like love to her.  One of the greatest gifts we can give to another person is to do something for them just because we want to see that other person feel loved. 

After everyone left that afternoon, I had to wonder is it just too late for them? 

Love is a choice, changing your mindset is a choice.  Being able to see past your own wants and needs is a choice.  The answer is NO!  It is never too late. 

 But then again too late is also a choice, and that is up to him to decide.   

I can only hope that something touched his heart and opened a crack to start letting love in and out. 

Love is bigger than fear.

Indy Health Expo Weekend

What a weekend! 

 

Thank you to all of you F2R supporters and past graduates for coming out this weekend.  What  a blast it was to see all of you running around in your “Bridging The Gap” t-shirt telling everyone about F2R and promoting my speaking time!  You all made such a difference for the success of this weekend.  Even Sunday I had someone come up to talk to me about 

“my t-shirt people” and she was finally happy to connect with me at my booth. 

 

What a great response!  Many people have signed up to start receiving the monthly newsletters and I made some great connections with people ready to start living life more fully.  I’m looking forward to getting them signed up in the next few days for one of the summer seminars.

 

The Saturday speaking time came off without a hitch!  The crowd was great and engaged.  They participated in a welcome to life hug and a challenge by choice. Well, at least most of them did!  I ask them to stand and turn to the stranger next to them and meet that person eye to eye.  To “see” that person.  Mike, my husband, turned around to look into the eye of the man behind him. The man looked at Mikes F2R shirt and ask him if he had gone through a weekend retreat.  Mike told him that he cooks at the camp on the seminar weekends and that he is my husband.  The man laughed and said, “you live with this everyday!”  It was hilarious for me to watch this from the stage!  All he could do was laugh and look some place other than at Mike.  He is coming to a seminar this summer!

Jess has put a podcast of most of the “Life…is a Challenge by Choice” presentation on my website.  Check it out!

And again, thank you to each and every one of you for your incredible love and support.  I could not do what I do with you! 

Speaking From My Heart

 Well, Saturday’s speaking debut is getting closer and closer with each passing moment.  I’m so excited to be able to share this message at The Indy Health Expo – Life…is a challenge by choice.  As I have finally found the perfect music that I have been searching for, I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to reach so many people at the same time.  I have been amazed by the blessings that have come from this event already.

 First, I requested to speak on Sunday, so that I would have Saturday to “get my bearings.”  The schedule came out, and I quickly saw that Sunday had turned into Saturday.  Ok, hmmm… ok, “I can do that,” were my thoughts.  So Saturday at 1:45pm it is!!!  Interestingly enough, our beloved Indianapolis Colts are in playoffs on Sunday.  If I had been given the Sunday time that I requested, the message would be limited to ONLY the people who are not watching the game!  I’m thinking that will be about 3 people.

Secondly, there are 4 different stages for speakers to be presenting at the same time.  Everyone will have lots of choices as to which speaker they want to hear.  In my time slot, 1:45pm, for some reason, I get to be the only speaker!  Wow!  Life being a challenge by choice will be the only choice!

 The last blessing, and by far the greatest, was some advice that a dear friend gave me, “Derinda, just love yourself and let them watch.” 

What a relief to be able to show up as I am and speak from my heart with the hope of touching another soul or the world, whichever comes first.

Mindset-Guest blogger, Chris Ransdell

One guy was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a rope tied to their legs. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

“Well”, trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and at the age, it’s enough to hold them, as they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.” He was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were. Their powerful and gigantic creature has limited its present abilities by the limitations of its past.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life holding onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? How many of us refuse to attempt something new and challenging because of our so called MINDSET?

Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt…

CHOOSE not to accept the false boundaries and limitations created by the past…

Life…

 I’m quickly approaching the speaking event at the Indy Health Expo on January 23-24.  I will be speaking on “Life… is a challenge by choice.”

 

I’m honored to have a 30-minute slot on Saturday the 23rd at 1:45pm on one of the stages! Please come support me on this subject and let me look out there into the group and see some beautiful smiles that I recognize. 

 

It has been amazingly fun to put together this presentation and watch it grow into fruition.  Many of us grew up with Walt Disney and The Brady Bunch.  We watched June Cleaver and Donna Reed as the prefect mothers in the perfect homes living “happy ever after,” but we never were taught that to live that way is a choice.  

 

All of you graduates of F2R I need your help to answer questions and support people in their process of signing up for a weekend. 

 

To love is a choice; to hate is a choice. To be happy and to live the life you want is a choice.  That simple!  And when you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad you will be amazed at the opportunities (choices) that life presents.

Look for the hero inside yourself.

How often do you spend your time looking for the heros in your community or workplace?  We have been taught that a hero is someone to admire and look up to for the accomplishments they have achieved in their life or a heroic deed that they were apart of.  The hero is outside you and we look  for someone else to be it.  

 How about you being your own hero.  How about being the one that you look up to and admire for all the growth, change and transformation you have made in your own life.  Life isn’t always easy or fair and most of  time  is a right down challenging.  Find the hero in you!  The one that chooses to live, learn and grow through the lessons.   It takes a hero to accept the challenge and to hang tough when times are difficult.  Acknowledge and embrace your hero…YOU!