Differences

 

“Differences are not intended to separate, to alienate.  We are different precisely in order to realize our need of one another.” –Desmond Tutu

How often do you fall into the trap of thinking that because someone doesn’t share in your view of something that person can’t be your friend?

Do you only surround yourself with likeminded people?

What can you learn from the person that shares a different view of the world?

Can you find in that person the humanity that unites us as human beings versus the words that divide? 

Can you step outside our own fear of the indifference to show love to this person that only wants to be heard too?

POOF hurts!

I can not believe that the 2009 word of the year is “unfriend.”  How can such a mean and ugly term become this years word?

“Unfriend” as in “to remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site.  Let me try to understand this, you invite someone to be your friend or you accept their request for friendship and then you make a choice to “unfriend” them.   Hmmmm….

This has never personally happened to me, that I know of anyway, but it has happened to friends of mine.  One of my friends wrote today on my Facebook in response to my disbelief.  She stated that her own family member “unfriended” her because of something she had posted on Facebook.  she said: POOF!  And I was gone!  She later wrote again that it hurts to be POOFED!  The same thing has happen to another of my dear friends too!

Are we so judgemental and critical of others that we can’t even post something that is our own thoughts and feelings without the possibility of someone deleting our friendship? 

I think we all need to take a look at what being a friend is all about and hopefully by 2010 the word of the year can have something to do with how we love, respect and honor friendships.

Thank you all for being my friends.  I will never poof any of you.  I always feel honored when you share your thoughts, feelings and suggestions. Keep it up!!

Don’t Should on Me!

How many times a day does someone tell you that you should be doing something?  Or you should have done something different?  Or you should try this? Or you should try that? 

How many times a day are you the one “shoulding” on someone else?  Are you the one always telling someone else what they should be doing?

It is easy the fall into the trap of telling people, from our own perspective, what or what not they should do, be, say, look like, act like, react to, coil from and well, I think you understand.

And then the could!!  If the should were not enough we often follow the should with the could.  You could have had that.  You could have been doing that.  You could…

These two words feel like shame words to me, they produce anxiety.  Telling someone else what they should have or could have done makes them wrong in some way. 

Right or wrong in our perspective doesn’t make someone else’s wrong,  just different.

  What do you think?

Judgement – Guest Blogger, Wilson Vessely

If God’s the game that you’re playing
Well, we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely
To be the only one who’s holy
It’s just my humble opinion
But it’s one that I believe in
You don’t deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you
You don’t have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it…
…Next time you point a finger
I’ll point you to the mirror

-Playing God by Paramore-

Sometimes we judge to quickly. Sometimes we point at someone and negatively label them, or we pick on the one “weird” kid in class, etc.

We’ve all, and if not you’ll hear it now, heard the phrase if you point at something there are 3 fingers pointing back. It is so easy to place the judge on someone else, but if you were to take a moment and look at yourself, maybe you wouldn’t point.

There was a guy in high school that made me mad, one day I thought about it and realized some of the reasons he made me mad were the way he was around people, unaware at the time I was acting the same way. So once I turned the flashlight on myself I realized the mistake I made.

Next time, in a negative way, that you call someone else out with a point or something else, stop and think if the thing or person that really is bothering you and/or annoying you is you. Stop and look at yourself to see if you should be the one pointing at yourself as opposed the other party.

Its so easy to judge people without giving a second thought about it, we judge on the clothing, the way they walk, talk, act, even the way the place an order at the drive thru window! Then unaware you order the same way at the drive thru but you don’t take time in your day to “check in” or evaluate what bothers you. To see if the cause is the person who tells the world what they’re ordering or if it is you who is telling the world your order.

Turn the flashlight on yourself once in a while and see what you see.

Wilson Vessely- Guest Blogger