Kindness

Living in a state of love is a choice and to mock ones decision to live from that place of peace is out of fear.

What are you afraid of? 

Someone seeing you as imperfect? 

We are all imperfect and that is the beauty of love, that we can choose to love the fearful too!  We don’t all have to look the same, talk the same or believe the same but we can choose to love the same.

How do you choose to love today?

Kindness takes much less effort than hate does.

Why a broken heart?

Understanding a broken heart, a friendship lost, and the shift when a loved one chooses a different path is something we have all experienced  in our life and often fall in the trap of “why.” We want to understand why, how, when, who and what happened.  It is human nature to ask yourself those questions.  Why do some have to come and go, and why have some remained?

Perhaps this poem will shed some light on things for you:

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person. 

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being in mine….

— Unknown

If we keep our hearts open and our mind free from taking it personally but learn the lessons from the experience then every relationship is with purpose. There is nothing ever to regret but to only be honored as part of your journey. 

 A heart that is broken wide open only gives us a bigger space to love again,  if we continue to choose love.

200th Blog of Forgetting 2 Remember

What an amazing experience this journey has been and continues to be!

On March 14th, 2009 I went into business with Forgetting 2 Remember, LLC.  On March 15, 2009 I posted my first blog, “Hello World.” 

Now, almost a year later, the 200th blog.  We have had thousands of visitors and many subscribers over this past year and I have been touched greatly by the comments and feedback. Each one has been an opportunity to continue the conversation and the growth that comes from that honesty.

 I set out on this venture with a passion and desire to change the way people “see”, to deepen and expand the experience of living as a complete authentic human being, and to facilitate a process of living with less fear and finding greater love for yourself, family, friends and community!  I had the pleasure last summer to see that dream transform 24 lives. 

This is the start of our second year with three intensive weekends planned and several smaller F2R monthly events. I joyfully wait for the journey to begin again and  can only imagine the possibilities this season holds.   We are blessed with a  new campground and even greater opportunities to expand. 

Thank you to all that have attended a weekend, shared their story, supported the scholarship program and held such great energy for me to create, grow and build this dream.  A huge thank you to my family, the staff  and my dear sweet Jess.  I am so blessed! 

So ” Hello World” again!  Thank you for the dance.

Differences

 

“Differences are not intended to separate, to alienate.  We are different precisely in order to realize our need of one another.” –Desmond Tutu

How often do you fall into the trap of thinking that because someone doesn’t share in your view of something that person can’t be your friend?

Do you only surround yourself with likeminded people?

What can you learn from the person that shares a different view of the world?

Can you find in that person the humanity that unites us as human beings versus the words that divide? 

Can you step outside our own fear of the indifference to show love to this person that only wants to be heard too?

What is “Experiential Learning?”

It is a philosophy of what we do at Forgetting 2 Remember every day:  Live to learn.  Learn to live.  This is our way of saying that for a learning experience to evolve, people must take part in the ongoing process of learning.  There is a Chinese proverb that says, “What we hear, we forget.  What we see, we remember. What we do we understand.”  Participation and reflection around activities speeds the learning process.  Whether you are learning about yourself, relationships, self-concepts, change in life or career, fear, love or forgiveness, experience enables what you learn to become part of your life.  Act that experience to learn…Transfer that learning to your life…

Live to learn. Learn to live.

Is It Too Late?

 

I have had a couple of days to digest the weekend mini-retreat “Languages of Love.”  I had such an amazing group of people that gathered to learn how to better show love in a way that made the other person feel most loved.

 The youngest in the group was 16 years old and the range went up to about 65.  I was blown away by the understanding and openness that the under 25 group had.  They seemed to get the fact that learning the way that others understand love will be a huge gift in their future relationships. 

But one person in particular surprised me.  This man is in a relationship that is on the brink of divorce, and it was very important to the relationship that he learned to give love to his wife in a way that made HER feel loved. I was faced with great opposition from this person.  If it didn’t feel like love to him, then he could not understand how it could feel like love to someone else.  I tried to explain that filling someone’s love tank had to do with loving HER in the way that feels like love to her.  One of the greatest gifts we can give to another person is to do something for them just because we want to see that other person feel loved. 

After everyone left that afternoon, I had to wonder is it just too late for them? 

Love is a choice, changing your mindset is a choice.  Being able to see past your own wants and needs is a choice.  The answer is NO!  It is never too late. 

 But then again too late is also a choice, and that is up to him to decide.   

I can only hope that something touched his heart and opened a crack to start letting love in and out. 

Love is bigger than fear.

Giving Love.

Let’s face it, we give what we want to receive.  We treat others with the expectation that they will treat us in the same way in return.  We continually set ourselves up for disappointment by thinking that everything we give will automatically be given back.  That’s karma, right?

Well, yes and no!  Karma is pretty right on with what goes around comes around. The misconception is in the timing.  What goes around and comes around is not always in our time frame. 

What becomes important is that we give because that is what we want to do.  Not because we think or expect something in return. 

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given was from my mother in regard to my father.  Dad left when I was 15, not an easy time in a teenager’s life.  I missed him so much!  He was not comfortable with the calls from me or my siblings, and it seemed to be a painful thing for him to hear from us.  For years, I would call him only to get off the phone crying and broken hearted.  I would tell him I loved him and he would say ok.  Ouch!  I know that my dad loves me, but those words just don’t flow easily from his mouth. 

The shift came when my mom said to call him because I wanted to tell him I loved him or to hear his voice, not because I wanted him to tell me he loved me.  It became about me.  It became about what I needed to say!  It became about if this day were the last time I would ever hear his voice again that I could rest in the fact that I had said what I needed to say.  And with that awareness, nothing needed to happen in return. 

What a relief to stop living life from a place of expectation!   And what a gift when an “I love you too” just happens. 

Give of your heart because that is who you are and rest at the end of the day in peace that you have shared your love to the world.  What a difference you will make!

Family

What does that word mean to you?  Family.  I grew up with the impression that “ family” were the people that lived in my home with me.  And then the people that lived in my grandparents house.  That pretty much wrapped it up!  I heard things like, “blood is thicker than water.”  “No one will ever stand by you like your family will.”  “When everyone else leaves you, you will still have your family.”

As I have gotten older I have had to stop and give those ideas some thought.  Does that definition ring true to me?  Is that how I would define the word?  I have had the privilege of being supported and loved greatly by people that are not in ” my blood line.”  So, for me, family is so much more than just the people in my home.  I have relationships with others that are as strong if not even stronger than that of my blood family.  Brothers, sisters, moms and dads, wise grandparents as well as fun loving aunts and uncles.  Wonderful people that I call family.  People that I would give my life for, and I know they would give their lives for me too.

I bring that idea full circle during an F2R weekend.  We all come together as strangers but leave 54 hours later with a strong family bond that can never be forgotten or broken.  The people that experience that connection are forever changed.  To me that defines family, when we no longer have to separate ourselves but  can live and love as one.

Are You Letting Your Essence Show?

What defines your essence?

It is the most vital and intrinsic part of you, the heart and soul.

 It is that feeling we leave behind when we leave a room, a feeling that stays with someone long after we are gone.

It is our most important ingredient, inherent and unchanging, our most basic nature.

Our essence takes on a spiritual context as our spark, the spirit of our soul.

Normal Again?

Normal: according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle: REGULAR

Looking at it that way yes, I’m normal again. The Thanksgiving bliss it over, everyone is happy and today starts a “normal” week.

Looking at it from a different perspective and the answer is no, and a thank god it’s no! I tend to not want to live my life in the arena of “normal.” Normal to me feels like just going along, playing it safe, and keeping it quite.

My normal looks something like this: Asking who are you, instead of what do you do? It is a hug instead of a handshake. It is a smile and great attention to you instead of looking the other way. It is meeting the bell ringer outside the stores with warmth and a thank you even if I don’t have a dime to give. It’s living, loving and learning everyday in a way that others can see and hear. It’s making mistakes out loud. It’s having success out loud. Normal to me is letting my light shine.

 It seems to me a better description of what “normal” should mean.

What do you think?