Remembering the True Meaning of Fear.

Wilson, my son, and I were talking this morning about business and what it takes to be successful. He is in the process of starting his own production company www.wilsonvesselyproductions.com  

 

 He has the same fears that we all have with starting a business and putting himself out there to the public. I was talking to him about the old salesman joke that you are going it get nine “no’s” before you get one “yes” so get out there early, get the “no’s” out of the way, so you have plenty of time left for your “yes.”

 

It is fear that holds us back from being all that we can be. Keep in mind that the “no” is NOT about you but that they do not in need to your service. We tend to take it personally, that there is something wrong with us, when in fact it has absolutely nothing to do with us! 

 

When it really comes down to it don’t we just want to know if our service can help or not so that we can move forward? 

When remembering that it is NOT about you, then nine “no’s” are like water off the ducks back.

And never give up the hope for ten “yes’s.” It can happen! 

Good luck Wilson! I’m incredibly proud of you and the man you are. Thank you also for making my Forgetting 2 Remember Video, it has been a great hit!

Fear= False Evidence Appearing Real

Who Am I ?

I’m amazed at the difficulty this question brings to people. Most immediately go into a story of what they do. I politely try to redirect them back to the question, who are you? Tell me about you?

When was the last time you stopped to think about who it is that you are as a human being, as a soul? Never, you say, well I am not surprised.

I was raised in a time, like many of us, that who you were was defined by what you did. It is about being a great student, a hard worker, and a successful business owner. If someone would have asked me back in the seventies who I was my answer would not have had anything to do with my “being”, just my “doing.”

I frequently ask that question to people I meet for two reasons:

I. To expand their thinking
II. To help people learn to acknowledge themselves as a “being” not a “doing.”

The table gets turned occasionally and that question comes right back at me.

I, having given the question many hours of thought, can fill a few pages of “Who I am.” So here are just a few…

I AM:
Loving, thoughtful, kind, connected, authentic, trustworthy, passionate, and etc. with the easy ones. But what I am also is sad sometimes, moved to tears easily, get angry when I feel attacked. Forget to live from only love.
In other words, I’m the dark and the light, the good and the bad, the helpful and the helpless. All of these things are a part of all of us. You know that thought that you think no one else in the whole world has ever thought? I have. You know that feeling that of being at your threshold of being able to handle it all? I do. We are all hope and hopeless. We are all the shadow and the light. No one is different, better, beyond the two sides that reside in each of us. I’m just trying, hoping and praying that I spent my thoughts on the light, that the best of me is what I live each day to be. After all, that too is a choice.

After much thought and realizing people didn’t want this long of an answer to the question I came up with the best answer that says it all.

“I am the essences of all humanity” ~ Derinda Kempa

One year ago today…

 

Forgetting 2 Remember became a real live business.  Its conception had been years in the making, the time for birthing this dream finely came March 14, 2009.  It was amazing how easy the first few steps were.

What the first year of Forgetting 2 Remember has taught me:

 10.  I could not have ever accomplished this venture without so many people loving and supporting me along the way.  A very special thank you to the “test group, ”(Mike, Jared, Jess, Brooke, Wilson, Janette, Anna, Chelsey, Don, Lydia and Georgjean) that let me give the weekend a trial run to teach each other. You earned the purple shirts with flying success.  No pun intended! 

      “Remembering” we are never alone.

9.  The only difference between success and failure came down to whether or not I quit. That became very visible early on when the hours of creating became more than I could have ever imagined.  Thank you Mike, Anna, and Wilson for so unselfishly letting me build this seminar. 

      “Remembering” that with love we can change the world.”

8. People are blocked by fear on a level that was beyond my imagination, but with love, safety, and encouragement that fear can be released.

“Remembering” that all that we have learned can be unlearned and fear is no match  to love.”

7. The “gifts” from the weekend keep on giving and months later moments of clarity continue to appear.  

“Remembering” that we are all in a continual state of learning.”

 6. That my writing blogs and editing really needs to be turned over to a better English guru.  

“Remembering” spend your time doing what you love and what you are best at, outsource the rest.”

5. We never know what someone is going through on the inside, so when we meet someone in a place of fear, react with love.

       “Remembering” it is not always personal even when it feels like it

4. I have learned as much about myself this year as I have taught.

     “Remembering,” we are all teachers and students.

3.   Forgiveness is the key to peaceful living.

“Remembering” forgiveness has more to do with you and your freedom than it does  the other person.

 2.   The only thing that we have control over in this life is ourselves.

    “Remembering” life is a challenge by choice, embrace it with both hands.

1. That I am so blessed, loved and supported more than I could have ever recognized outside this passion for what I do; helping people to remember all the greatness that already lives in each of us.

      “Remembering” you are LOVE.

 Thank you all, we have only just begun…..

Differences

 

“Differences are not intended to separate, to alienate.  We are different precisely in order to realize our need of one another.” –Desmond Tutu

How often do you fall into the trap of thinking that because someone doesn’t share in your view of something that person can’t be your friend?

Do you only surround yourself with likeminded people?

What can you learn from the person that shares a different view of the world?

Can you find in that person the humanity that unites us as human beings versus the words that divide? 

Can you step outside our own fear of the indifference to show love to this person that only wants to be heard too?

Regaining Our Passion

I read a story recently that I want to share with you.  An elementary school teacher was giving a drawing class to a group of six-year-old children. At the back of the room sat a little girl who normally didn’t pay much attention in school.  She did, though, in the drawing class.  For more than twenty minutes, the girl sat with her arms curled around her paper, totally absorbed in what she was doing.  The teacher found this fascinating.  Eventually, she asked the girl what she was drawing. 

Without looking up, the girl said, “I’m drawing a picture of God.”  Surprised, the teacher said, “But nobody knows what God looks like.”  The girl said, “They will in a minute.”

I love this story because it reminds me that young children are wonderfully confident in their own imaginations.   Most of us lose this confidence as we grow up.  Ask a group of first graders if they think they are creative and they will all put their hands up, some even jumping up and down in their chairs. Ask a group of high school seniors the same question and most of them won’t. 

I believe passionately we are all born with tremendous natural capacities, and that we lose many of them as we spend time in the world.  Educational systems, religious dogma, society pressures and parents’ belief systems all play a part of us losing the sense of who we really are.

Who are you?  What is a passion you have inside of you that somehow got tucked back into the corner of your mind? 

Becoming aware of the confidence that little boy or girl inside of you once had is a great start to rekindling those forgotten flames.  And now as an adult, we try to figure out how to get it back.  When all is said and done, though, it’s been in you all the time.  You are already whole and complete.  You just get to find the spark and remember it again. 

Need help in finding that spark?  The weekend intensive seminars are filling fast.  Give me a call or send me an email and take that first step into remembering. 

We all know of people in our lives that can grow from the experience of remembering who they are.  Please pass this along to them or have them join you for a weekend intensive retreat. 

What an amazing sight it will be by the end of this summer to see a group of incredible people that have chosen to “Bridge the Gap” between where they are in life and where they want to be.

Hi, It’s Derinda

Wow!  Did I get caught in a whirlwind or what? 

The last post that I sent out was on December 20th!  Hmmm… so much for my Monday-Friday blog!

These past few weeks have been my personal test to “walk my talk.”  To understand that the challenges are for a purpose, an opportunity to learn and grow.  It has been about “remembering” all that I AM is enough and just being present.  I, too, get caught in the cycle of doing and forget all that is needed is to just BE.  Breathe, welcome the journey and grow in the experience.

Thank you for listening.

Much love and peace,

Derinda

A Dog’s Purpose-guest blogger Pam Zajac

A Dog’s Purpose?  Maybe to teach us the remember the important things in life.

 Live well.

Care deeply.

 Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

 Stretch before rising.

 Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body. 

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

 ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY! When you are grateful — when you can see what you have — you unlock blessings to flow in your life.

Wilson Vessely- Guest Blogger

With this new job I’ve taken, I’ve had to step out of my comfort level and deal with new challenges. I recently used part of David Whyte’s poem Self Portrait as a status update on facebook and have gotten responses of yes, the part I posted reads:

“…I want to know if you are willing To live day by day With the consequence of love And the bitter unwanted passion Of your sure defeat…”

Over the last few days, I’ve been struggling dealing with my feelings and my actions. I get very upset with myself when I mess up while working, and its not that I did it wrong that makes me mad, its that it is an easy task and I somehow keep messing it up.

Re-reading this poem has helped me realize that to be LIVING day by day with the consequence of love and the BITTER UNWANTED PASSION of my sure DEFEAT, I have to take my mistakes I make and remain positive about them, even though I feel stupid because I keep messing up, I have to realize that we all make mistakes. Life is too short to get worked up over something as small as this.

One of John Mayers recent twitter posts was:

RT: @johncmayer For all the times we punish ourselves, very few times have we actually done something wrong

When I read this, it brought tears to my eyes because of the validity of this in the last few days. The mistakes I made, yes some were actual mistakes, were learning mistakes.

Another post from John Mayer recently was:

RT: @johncmayer Go easy on you. When things go wrong, remind yourself it’s your first time through this life. Now go have a great weekend ya goof.

And I close on that, enjoy you weekend everyone.

Wilson

What do you think?

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Looking for the Gifts

Gifts come in all sizes and shapes, each containing something that someone has given you.  A material item that expresses love, blessing and thanks for touching their life or being a part of a family.  We traditionally give gifts in celebration of something.  Occasionally we give or receive a gift “just because.”  Who doesn’t love that!

The gifts I want to talk about now are the ones that we often fail to see even when they are right before our eyes.  The gift that comes from a broken heart or a traffic ticket.  The gift from losing a job or from not having enough money to buy Christmas presents.   Things are hard amidst financial struggles, health problems or family crisis to see anything positive, let alone look at these events as a gift!

What gifts can you find in your life right now that when taking a closer look show up in a new light? 

A broken heart allows for your heart to expand, grow and heal thus opening an avenue for greater love in the future.  The traffic ticket could be a gift that saves your life, a wake up call to slow down.

The financial struggles of losing a job or not having money can be seen as the gift of time as well as giving of yourself such as making something from the heart or the opportunity to just be together. 

It is often after the situation that we are able to look back with 20/20 vision and see what gifts came from that illness or family crisis. The amazing job that you would have never even considered.   The gift was there all the time. 

Just as the gift is right now.   Look for the gifts and Embrace Your Life!

Just wondering…

I am just wondering…

 

 

are you living each day

 

 

or dying each day?