How To S.E.E.

Why do some things upset us so much?  We notice that our reaction is not in balance to the action we have encountered.  Why are we over-reacting so much?

We need to S.E.E. what underlies the emotional charge that we are feeling:

Is it Shadow?  Is it Ego?  Or,  Early life unfinished business?

Here is an example: A person has a sharp tone to their voice when speaking to me and it bothers me all day.

Shadow:  Am I like that sometimes? Is it in me to treat people that way?  Our negative shadow contains all that we strongly dislike in ourselves but sometimes can’t see.  We tend to detest in them exactly what we disown in us. (Our positive shadow holds our untapped potential.  We admire in others what is buried and unaware in us.)

Ego:  We become enraged because someone have spoken to us in that manner.  “Don’t they know who I AM?”  This statement gives us a clear view that our entitled controlling ego is out of balance and we are angry at not getting our own way.

Or, Early life re-enactment:  “My mother talked to me this way and it hurt.”  The sharpness is the voice today may be triggering a reminder of a past experience or wound.

Your reaction is likely to be your shadow if you cannot believe you could ever be like that.  It is likely to be your ego if you think “how dare they…” And it is often past experiences if you feel grief or powerless or if later you become obsessed with your reaction or the event.

How do you S.E.E. things?

POOF hurts!

I can not believe that the 2009 word of the year is “unfriend.”  How can such a mean and ugly term become this years word?

“Unfriend” as in “to remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site.  Let me try to understand this, you invite someone to be your friend or you accept their request for friendship and then you make a choice to “unfriend” them.   Hmmmm….

This has never personally happened to me, that I know of anyway, but it has happened to friends of mine.  One of my friends wrote today on my Facebook in response to my disbelief.  She stated that her own family member “unfriended” her because of something she had posted on Facebook.  she said: POOF!  And I was gone!  She later wrote again that it hurts to be POOFED!  The same thing has happen to another of my dear friends too!

Are we so judgemental and critical of others that we can’t even post something that is our own thoughts and feelings without the possibility of someone deleting our friendship? 

I think we all need to take a look at what being a friend is all about and hopefully by 2010 the word of the year can have something to do with how we love, respect and honor friendships.

Thank you all for being my friends.  I will never poof any of you.  I always feel honored when you share your thoughts, feelings and suggestions. Keep it up!!

Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?

I walked up stairs last night to kiss my beautiful daughter goodnight and on her TV I saw Kanye West get up on stage to grab the microphone away from Taylor Swift, who had just won an award for best video, to announce that he thought Beyonce was the best. 

Where have we come to in society when we don’t stop to think about what we are doing and saying and how it might impact others before we just jump up and open our mouths!  Is it easier to get forgiveness than permission?  So what if it hurts others, we can apologize later.  I don’t think so!!

This was a sad thing to watch and the uproar that his rudeness created was huge. 

 The next time before just blurting it out, stop, think, is what I’m about to say helpful or hurtful. Is it kind? Is it necessary?  Is it  true?  Oh how much simpler our lives would be if we just answered these 3 little questions before we spoke.