Do you sleep when the wind blows?

A handsome young man applied for a job as a farmhand. When the old farmer asked for his qualifications, he replied with an air of confidence “I can sleep when the wind blows.” The statement puzzled the farmer. But he liked the pleasant looking young man nevertheless and hired him.

A few days later, the old farmer and his wife were rudely awakened in the night by a violent storm. They quickly began to check things out to see if all was secure. They found that the shutters of the farmhouse had been securely fastened. A good supply of logs had been set next to the fireplace. The farm tools had been placed neatly in the storage shed, safe from the elements. The tractor had been moved into the garage. The barn was properly locked. Even the animals were calm. The young man slept soundly. All was well. The farmer then understood the meaning of the young man’s words, “I can sleep when the wind blows “.

 Because the farmhand did his work loyally and faithfully when the skies were clear, he was prepared for the storm when it broke loose. So when the wind blew, he was fearless. He slept in peace. 

How does this apply to our lives?

Author Unknown

 As we, the Forgetting 2 Remember Participants and Staff, prepare ourselves for this up coming  weekend retreat.  Turn on your light and start looking into your heart.  Start your work today, listening, breathing, tuning into your soul. 

What is your heart’s desire from the level of your soul?

I’m here, present and available for each of you.  317-833-4942

Derinda

Who Am I ?

I’m amazed at the difficulty this question brings to people. Most immediately go into a story of what they do. I politely try to redirect them back to the question, who are you? Tell me about you?

When was the last time you stopped to think about who it is that you are as a human being, as a soul? Never, you say, well I am not surprised.

I was raised in a time, like many of us, that who you were was defined by what you did. It is about being a great student, a hard worker, and a successful business owner. If someone would have asked me back in the seventies who I was my answer would not have had anything to do with my “being”, just my “doing.”

I frequently ask that question to people I meet for two reasons:

I. To expand their thinking
II. To help people learn to acknowledge themselves as a “being” not a “doing.”

The table gets turned occasionally and that question comes right back at me.

I, having given the question many hours of thought, can fill a few pages of “Who I am.” So here are just a few…

I AM:
Loving, thoughtful, kind, connected, authentic, trustworthy, passionate, and etc. with the easy ones. But what I am also is sad sometimes, moved to tears easily, get angry when I feel attacked. Forget to live from only love.
In other words, I’m the dark and the light, the good and the bad, the helpful and the helpless. All of these things are a part of all of us. You know that thought that you think no one else in the whole world has ever thought? I have. You know that feeling that of being at your threshold of being able to handle it all? I do. We are all hope and hopeless. We are all the shadow and the light. No one is different, better, beyond the two sides that reside in each of us. I’m just trying, hoping and praying that I spent my thoughts on the light, that the best of me is what I live each day to be. After all, that too is a choice.

After much thought and realizing people didn’t want this long of an answer to the question I came up with the best answer that says it all.

“I am the essences of all humanity” ~ Derinda Kempa

Doing what we have always done.

What comes from that “doing”?  The sameness!  The effort it takes to change a habit is not for the faint of heart.  The commitment has to be an everyday awareness and process of watching yourself for the sameness to appear and then in that “catch” do something different.

It is that flashlight continually shining at yourself and being on guard for that same old habit to reappear and stopping it in its tracks. 

 What happens is we tire of the watching and little by little let go of the new awareness’ that have changed our direction and slowly ease back into the easy chair and turn on the old familiar show, only again to find ourselves doing what we have always done. 

How do we stay aware, keep on growing, and make changes that will last a lifetime and change the course of our tomorrow? 

Share with me what keeps you moving forward.  What keeps you coming back for more growth?

One year ago today…

 

Forgetting 2 Remember became a real live business.  Its conception had been years in the making, the time for birthing this dream finely came March 14, 2009.  It was amazing how easy the first few steps were.

What the first year of Forgetting 2 Remember has taught me:

 10.  I could not have ever accomplished this venture without so many people loving and supporting me along the way.  A very special thank you to the “test group, ”(Mike, Jared, Jess, Brooke, Wilson, Janette, Anna, Chelsey, Don, Lydia and Georgjean) that let me give the weekend a trial run to teach each other. You earned the purple shirts with flying success.  No pun intended! 

      “Remembering” we are never alone.

9.  The only difference between success and failure came down to whether or not I quit. That became very visible early on when the hours of creating became more than I could have ever imagined.  Thank you Mike, Anna, and Wilson for so unselfishly letting me build this seminar. 

      “Remembering” that with love we can change the world.”

8. People are blocked by fear on a level that was beyond my imagination, but with love, safety, and encouragement that fear can be released.

“Remembering” that all that we have learned can be unlearned and fear is no match  to love.”

7. The “gifts” from the weekend keep on giving and months later moments of clarity continue to appear.  

“Remembering” that we are all in a continual state of learning.”

 6. That my writing blogs and editing really needs to be turned over to a better English guru.  

“Remembering” spend your time doing what you love and what you are best at, outsource the rest.”

5. We never know what someone is going through on the inside, so when we meet someone in a place of fear, react with love.

       “Remembering” it is not always personal even when it feels like it

4. I have learned as much about myself this year as I have taught.

     “Remembering,” we are all teachers and students.

3.   Forgiveness is the key to peaceful living.

“Remembering” forgiveness has more to do with you and your freedom than it does  the other person.

 2.   The only thing that we have control over in this life is ourselves.

    “Remembering” life is a challenge by choice, embrace it with both hands.

1. That I am so blessed, loved and supported more than I could have ever recognized outside this passion for what I do; helping people to remember all the greatness that already lives in each of us.

      “Remembering” you are LOVE.

 Thank you all, we have only just begun…..

What is “Experiential Learning?”

It is a philosophy of what we do at Forgetting 2 Remember every day:  Live to learn.  Learn to live.  This is our way of saying that for a learning experience to evolve, people must take part in the ongoing process of learning.  There is a Chinese proverb that says, “What we hear, we forget.  What we see, we remember. What we do we understand.”  Participation and reflection around activities speeds the learning process.  Whether you are learning about yourself, relationships, self-concepts, change in life or career, fear, love or forgiveness, experience enables what you learn to become part of your life.  Act that experience to learn…Transfer that learning to your life…

Live to learn. Learn to live.

Regaining Our Passion

I read a story recently that I want to share with you.  An elementary school teacher was giving a drawing class to a group of six-year-old children. At the back of the room sat a little girl who normally didn’t pay much attention in school.  She did, though, in the drawing class.  For more than twenty minutes, the girl sat with her arms curled around her paper, totally absorbed in what she was doing.  The teacher found this fascinating.  Eventually, she asked the girl what she was drawing. 

Without looking up, the girl said, “I’m drawing a picture of God.”  Surprised, the teacher said, “But nobody knows what God looks like.”  The girl said, “They will in a minute.”

I love this story because it reminds me that young children are wonderfully confident in their own imaginations.   Most of us lose this confidence as we grow up.  Ask a group of first graders if they think they are creative and they will all put their hands up, some even jumping up and down in their chairs. Ask a group of high school seniors the same question and most of them won’t. 

I believe passionately we are all born with tremendous natural capacities, and that we lose many of them as we spend time in the world.  Educational systems, religious dogma, society pressures and parents’ belief systems all play a part of us losing the sense of who we really are.

Who are you?  What is a passion you have inside of you that somehow got tucked back into the corner of your mind? 

Becoming aware of the confidence that little boy or girl inside of you once had is a great start to rekindling those forgotten flames.  And now as an adult, we try to figure out how to get it back.  When all is said and done, though, it’s been in you all the time.  You are already whole and complete.  You just get to find the spark and remember it again. 

Need help in finding that spark?  The weekend intensive seminars are filling fast.  Give me a call or send me an email and take that first step into remembering. 

We all know of people in our lives that can grow from the experience of remembering who they are.  Please pass this along to them or have them join you for a weekend intensive retreat. 

What an amazing sight it will be by the end of this summer to see a group of incredible people that have chosen to “Bridge the Gap” between where they are in life and where they want to be.

Practice! Practice!

I’m often ask, “How do I learn to ask the right questions, define my differences, and stay calm when I don’t get the answer that I want?”  The only way to learn to speak is to speak!  You may remember the old joke about the guy who approaches a street-corner musician in New York City and asks, Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?”  The man replies, “Practice!”

Practicing is necessary to accomplish anything worthwhile, and speaking up in a difficult situation is no exception.  We can start with small steps and simple issues.  Being  “aware” and asking clear questions in a tone or voice of love.  Next, we can define where we stand and address the differences.  Practice doing this from a calm mind and heart.  We will always be heard in a stronger way by being loving than we will ever be heard when we communicate from anger or fear. 

How many times have you walked away from a difficult situation remembering only the tone in which you were spoken to but not the message? 

Practice speaking from love instead of fear!  Understandings can be reached in a state of self-awareness. 

 Practice!  Practice!

Winter Blues

It is official now, the onset of the winter blues! A sampling of yesterday’s text messages went something like this, “I just want to die, Derinda” and ” It’s just one of those days…” Just so you know no one that texted me yesterday died or didn’t make it through the rest of the day!

The “blues” have passed me by this year or maybe I should say I have beaten the “blues” game. I haven’t chosen to participate in this year’s activity. I must be honest there have been some past years that I played, and played very well I might add. It’s dark, gloomy, and my nose is cold, and my toes are cold, and my tail is cold…. Oops, I got carried away with a line from the movie 101 Dalmatians. And yes it is all of those things!

But…

In the last few years I have pulled up my long johns and headed out the door. Why does a sunshine or a warm day make such a difference to the way we feel? I get it; warm feels good and so does sunshine. I, like the rest of you, love a warm and sunny day. But when I take ownership of my own warm and sunny the weather outside can not touch me on the inside or even gets close to changing my day.

Here’s to warm and sunny inside you and the rest in just a fluctuating thermostat!

Let your warm heart and sunny smile make today brighter for everyone and see how that feels to the winter “blues.”

 

Are you the Teacher or the Student?

I often counsel people and attempt to expand their vision of “seeing.”  It is a process that I love with a passion.  To watch an individual grow, evolve, realize, discover and become is a beautiful gift to witness.  Does that make me the teacher?  No, the teacher is already inside each of you, and my gift is to help you remember that part of yourself that you have forgotten.  So that makes all of us teachers.

Who is the student if we are all teachers?

Imagine the possibility of being both student and teacher at the same time and embracing both roles in your life.  Most people label themselves one or another.  I have never asked someone what they do and had them tell me both.  They either view themselves in the role of teacher or student.

We are both!   Every day is an experience to grow with, to learn something from and to bring something to.   

What did you learn today and what did you teach?

Wilson Vessely- Guest Blogger

With this new job I’ve taken, I’ve had to step out of my comfort level and deal with new challenges. I recently used part of David Whyte’s poem Self Portrait as a status update on facebook and have gotten responses of yes, the part I posted reads:

“…I want to know if you are willing To live day by day With the consequence of love And the bitter unwanted passion Of your sure defeat…”

Over the last few days, I’ve been struggling dealing with my feelings and my actions. I get very upset with myself when I mess up while working, and its not that I did it wrong that makes me mad, its that it is an easy task and I somehow keep messing it up.

Re-reading this poem has helped me realize that to be LIVING day by day with the consequence of love and the BITTER UNWANTED PASSION of my sure DEFEAT, I have to take my mistakes I make and remain positive about them, even though I feel stupid because I keep messing up, I have to realize that we all make mistakes. Life is too short to get worked up over something as small as this.

One of John Mayers recent twitter posts was:

RT: @johncmayer For all the times we punish ourselves, very few times have we actually done something wrong

When I read this, it brought tears to my eyes because of the validity of this in the last few days. The mistakes I made, yes some were actual mistakes, were learning mistakes.

Another post from John Mayer recently was:

RT: @johncmayer Go easy on you. When things go wrong, remind yourself it’s your first time through this life. Now go have a great weekend ya goof.

And I close on that, enjoy you weekend everyone.

Wilson

What do you think?

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