Setting Healthy Boundaries

I was so blessed Saturday morning with a beautiful group of  open hearts and sharing voices! 

We talked about setting healthy boundaries. 

What is a boundary?  In a physical sense, a boundary marks off where your property starts and where the neighbor’s end.  You are responsible for your side and they are responsible for their side.  While not as easy to mark off, emotional boundaries also mark off where your responsibilities start and end. 

Boundaries are like fences that you put around yourself to keep the good, healthy part of you well and where you can also keep the unhealthy people and things out.  This means you protect you! 

Notice that I said fences and not walls.  A wall means that nothing gets through from either side whereas a fence allows flow.   And in that flow healthy conversations and boundaries can be set.

Setting boundaries is a way of defining who you are and what you are all about, what you will do and what you won’t;  what’s acceptable to you and what’s not. 

Jane Bluestine, Ph.D, Boundary Setting  101 writes:  “The ability to set, express and maintain boundaries is and essential part of any healthy relationship.  Boundaries build ‘win-win’ relationships by making clear our needs and limits, while letting others know what options are available for meeting their own needs.”