Letting it go!

Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. 

In order to be free, we must learn to let go. 

 Release the hurt. 

Release the fear. 

Refuse to entertain your old pain.  The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. 

What is it you would let go of today?

Who is Wilson Vessely?

In a great attempt to promote my son’s new business I wrote a blog yesterday about remembering what it takes to be successful and the conversation that we had that morning around fear.

www.wilsonvesselyproductions.com check him out!

Remembering the True Meaning of Fear.

Wilson, my son, and I were talking this morning about business and what it takes to be successful. He is in the process of starting his own production company www.wilsonvesselyproductions.com  

 

 He has the same fears that we all have with starting a business and putting himself out there to the public. I was talking to him about the old salesman joke that you are going it get nine “no’s” before you get one “yes” so get out there early, get the “no’s” out of the way, so you have plenty of time left for your “yes.”

 

It is fear that holds us back from being all that we can be. Keep in mind that the “no” is NOT about you but that they do not in need to your service. We tend to take it personally, that there is something wrong with us, when in fact it has absolutely nothing to do with us! 

 

When it really comes down to it don’t we just want to know if our service can help or not so that we can move forward? 

When remembering that it is NOT about you, then nine “no’s” are like water off the ducks back.

And never give up the hope for ten “yes’s.” It can happen! 

Good luck Wilson! I’m incredibly proud of you and the man you are. Thank you also for making my Forgetting 2 Remember Video, it has been a great hit!

Fear= False Evidence Appearing Real

What one thing?

I have a couple girls that I mentor once a week. The mentoring is a part of a service that some schools in our area participate in. These kids have all “earned the right” to be in this school because of failing grades, family dysfunction, poor choices, drugs, pregnancy and some simply not fitting in to the norm of traditional teaching styles. I have two of the most amazing young women that I have ever met that I have the privilege of seeing and being a part of their lives every week.

  

The mentoring program is set up to follow a program of the 40 assets that everyone needs to have in their lives to be successful.

Today’s activity was simply to get the girls to think about things on a deeper level than most 17 year olds think. “If you could meet any 4 people in the world and have dinner with them who would they be and why?” “What are you most proud of in your life?” “Who needs you?” There were about thirty different questions that we went through and it was interesting to hear the girls speak about something they had never even thought of before. 

One question that really struck me the most was, “If you could change ONE thing about yourself, what would it be and how would that ONE change, change your whole life?” 

So I pose that question to each of you. 

We all have one thing, a thought pattern, a habit, an old belief, a fear, that we could let go of and change the rest of our lives. 

What’s yours? 

The Answer to Fear.

When we speak of fear, we speak of the most profound of all negativities. Profound because fear is the root of all negativity, and because it most clearly exposes us to the most powerful of all dangers, the loss of awareness of our real self, our soul.

It is the ego that fears, not the soul. The soul knows that we are not separate from each other. We are one.

Anger, stress, anxiety, doubt, all negativity has fear at their core. Conquer fear and liberation is very close by. So what is fear for? What is the positive aspect to fear? If we look closely we can see that a ‘negative’ is being used as a means of change. It is a way, an extreme way, to get us to act. When we use fear positively we act. When we are caught negatively by fear, we are paralyzed. We hesitate, we do not change and we become imprisoned by our fears.

I am sure if you think of something very simple that you fear (e.g. you may be scared of heights) you will see how this process works. You climb up onto the diving board and if you allow yourself to be caught by your fear, you will not be able to jump, you will be paralyzed. You will become imprisoned by fear, by anything of any height that you associate with the diving board in the future and that negative energy will be swallowed down expanding that fear. If however, you act, you will jump off the board and move on to the next challenge in your life.

Why do you doubt yourself? Do you lack belief in your convictions? What fear is driving that? Are you scared to trust your own heart? Do you fear taking a leap of faith? Is it a fear of change?

The answer to fear is to act. Don’t procrastinate or hesitate – act!  What happens when we doubt our self? We diminish our own sense of self. We trust others opinion above our own. We don’t put faith in our own experience. We become paralyzed and imprisoned by fear to the extent that we will not act without others’ validation.

On the other hand if we look at this situation positively and use doubt constructively then we will rationally analyze any leap we are about to make and then act with faith and conviction.

The use of positive fear is to realize that to transform any negative we must act, not allow it to be swallowed down but allow the energy to be redirected to its own higher form. The higher form of fear is trust and faith and ultimately love.

Right now if you feel fear take it as a means to act, an inspiration to go higher with your life, with trust and faith and love in yourself and the universe.

Remember that fear has no place in love.

 

 

 

The Givens of Life

The things we can not change:

Everything Changes And Ends

Suffering Is A Part Of Growth

Things Do Not Always Go According To Plan

Things Are Not Always Fair

People Are Not Loving And Loyal All The Time

These are examples not just of the conditions of existing but also of evolving.  They help us to be able to unfold with character, purpose and meaning.  Only in this passing world do we keep aiming for the timeless.  Only through suffering do we find our inner strength and our need for others too.  Only in this unpredictable universe do we expend all the effort we can muster and then some more.  Only in the face of injustice do we work for justice and act with mercy.  Only among people who sometimes hurt or betray us do we find the CHOICE of love over retaliation and thereby grow in compassion.

Taoist Han Hung says: ” The biggest risk is to trust that these conditions are all that we need to be ourselves.”

That said:

EVERYTHING CHANGES AND ENDS yet can be renewed.

SUFFERING IS PART OF GROWTH yet we keep finding ways to bring good.

THINGS DO NOT ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN yet we can find the strength to say yes to what is and thanks for what has been.

THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS FAIR yet we can be fair and even generous.

PEOPLE ARE NOT LOVING AND LOYAL ALL THE TIME yet we do not have to retaliate but can ourselves act with love and loyalty, never giving up on others.

In the face of fear is a cry for love.

I choose love.

One of our biggest fears…

Can someone love us in all of our humanity?  If they see the imperfection in us will we still be good enough? 

 We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. -Sam Keen

Thank you Lori for sharing this video with me!

Creating Stillness

 

 

 

Simply by creating some stillness in your life for a time each day, you are giving yourself the greatest of gifts—that of Self Love. It is never time wasted; it is ALWAYS of benefit to you. The results of this growing stillness may be subtle and unexpected but always beneficial as your life’s course aligns itself with a higher awareness, which is this stillness. By nurturing yourself in this stillness, opportunities arise for gaining greater Clarity in your life about whatever it is that concerns you in the moment—to release the fears, and to begin to Co-Create from a positive space of Love.

In the stillness the Self teaches.

Have a great weekend and enjoy some moments of stillness in each day.

Much love & peace,

Derinda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What mask are you wearing?

 Masks are an essential part of celebration and ritual in many cultures. In covering our faces, the part of our bodies most strongly associated with our identities, we can assume new identities. In some traditions the mask wearer is regarded as transformed rather than merely disguised.

 

 What mask are you wearing? Is it truly transforming you or are you hiding?

 

There is a term used in our society, “fake it until you make it.” What does that mean to you? 

 

Could wearing a mask be a positive way of changing who you want to become? So, in an attempt to be different you start living that way with your thoughts, your actions, and even in the way you look. You start BEing the change. 

 

More often, though, masks are something that we hide ourselves behind. We show up as a label of what we do versus who we are as a human. That is a mask. A mask is also being worn when we show up in a place of fear. We are not being of our true self when we function from that place. The mask can be a sense of humor inappropriately used to avoid the real feeling or situation. The mask can be silence while we are imploding within ourselves. 

 

What do you think? Let me know.

The many faces of fear.

Let’s face it, fear can look a thousand different ways.  It does not show itself only with the terrified look of distress but can be masked in a joke or a smile too.  Fear is just that, fear.  An insecure feeling that is overriding your normal state of love.  It is a feeling of being threatened in some way.  That could be a belief system or a thought pattern that you hold dear to your sense of self.  It does not always show up the way that we typically would think of fear.  Being shy, arrogant, rude or even a Polly Anna are faces of fear. 

How is fear showing up in your life? 

 Stop to consider some of your actions to see if they are from a place of love or a place of fear. 

 Being an observer of ourselves and asking that question is a great way to recognize where fear is showing up for us and where we need to make ourselves more aware in understanding and learning why.

Happy observing.