Dad, are you hearing me?

I met with a father today who is dealing with the “letting go” of his eighteen year old son.  For years, this man has done everything in his power to guide, direct, push, manipulate his son into the man that he wants him to be.  Giving his son the guidance to make his life better than it was for himself as a young man.  I think this is an easy trap many parents fall into at this particular time of parenting.  I think most of us, in our generation, have chosen to parent our children differently than we were brought up.  I know I have consciously chosen several drastically different ways to raise my own children.  Some of those changes due to the fact that how I was raised just didn’t allow me to experience life and fail in a safe environment.  Children need a safe place to be able to be themselves and have their spirits to be acknowledged.  If not, they become our puppets and we are controlling the movement of their bodies.  We define the right and wrong and good and the bad as we should, but by our own actions, not by our words.

What is happening to this eighteen year-old young man is he is finally realizing that his voice might be a good one to hear too.  He is stepping into his adulthood and pulling at the strings on his arms to be released.  Now his dad has a choice, either loosen the hold or lose an opportunity to witness this young man bloom from the foundation in which he has been taught.  The son will undoubtedly change some of his foundation to best serve him in his life, and he should.  I don’t feel that our purpose is to create mini-me’s but to embrace our children for the journey of fully living life.  The hard part is letting go and trusting that your embrace and example have been enough. 

It is time to stop the conversation at this point.  This is the time to see what this beautiful human being’s purpose is on earth.  What is his dream?  And can you stop talking long enough to hear his answer? 

Be the example of love, of acceptance, of a safe place to make mistakes and fall down.  It’s time to trust the foundation and let him test his wings while the nest is still warm.  It is a tough road to be expected to move to each pull of the string for the happiness of pleasing someone else.  God created all of us with purpose.  Dad, mom, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandpa and grandma – are you hearing me?  I have an amazing voice too.  Let me tell you who I am……starting at eighteen. Not forty-eight, please.

Judgement – Guest Blogger, Wilson Vessely

If God’s the game that you’re playing
Well, we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely
To be the only one who’s holy
It’s just my humble opinion
But it’s one that I believe in
You don’t deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you
You don’t have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it…
…Next time you point a finger
I’ll point you to the mirror

-Playing God by Paramore-

Sometimes we judge to quickly. Sometimes we point at someone and negatively label them, or we pick on the one “weird” kid in class, etc.

We’ve all, and if not you’ll hear it now, heard the phrase if you point at something there are 3 fingers pointing back. It is so easy to place the judge on someone else, but if you were to take a moment and look at yourself, maybe you wouldn’t point.

There was a guy in high school that made me mad, one day I thought about it and realized some of the reasons he made me mad were the way he was around people, unaware at the time I was acting the same way. So once I turned the flashlight on myself I realized the mistake I made.

Next time, in a negative way, that you call someone else out with a point or something else, stop and think if the thing or person that really is bothering you and/or annoying you is you. Stop and look at yourself to see if you should be the one pointing at yourself as opposed the other party.

Its so easy to judge people without giving a second thought about it, we judge on the clothing, the way they walk, talk, act, even the way the place an order at the drive thru window! Then unaware you order the same way at the drive thru but you don’t take time in your day to “check in” or evaluate what bothers you. To see if the cause is the person who tells the world what they’re ordering or if it is you who is telling the world your order.

Turn the flashlight on yourself once in a while and see what you see.

Wilson Vessely- Guest Blogger

 

The First 100

It is hard for me to imagine that just a few short months ago Forgetting 2 Remember was born. 

The labor has been intensive and the rewards have been beyond my wildest dreams. 

 The pregnancy, however, was many years in creation.  It’s birth at the perfect timing. 

I love the way God, Source, Higher Power, The Universe, (what ever you choose to call it) is divine in allowing for our highest intentions to become all that we want.  Conceiving the idea, allowing for it’s growth and development, nourishing the seed with constant love and commitment, laboring for the many hours of pushing through the process to get to the final results.  A masterpiece.

Thanks to all of you that have labored with me, encouraged the process and supported the journey. 

You have changed my life!  Cheers, to the next one hundred!

Much love and blessings,
Derinda

Small Miracles…

I’m always amazed by the opportunities that God, Spirit, your higher power, source, the universe, what ever word you choose, gives us when we are open to the journey.

My daughter came home from work yesterday (MCL Restaurant) and was talking about a person that she had waited on.  Long story, short.  This person, Jack Terry, had been a changing force in my life in 7Th grade.  He was my teacher and ,more than that, he was someone who believed in me.

It has been 34 years since that time and now my daughter has the opportunity to cross paths with this incredible person! 

Small miracles inspire living everyday….pay it forward.  He certainly has and continues to love, inspire, and change the world.