The Day After…a Tough Day

That heading can be taken a couple of different ways.  First, with no comma after the word ‘after’, then with a comma after the word ‘after’.  Either way it seems daunting.  Well, we are not going to let it.

What did you do yesterday that was positive?  Where in the “tough day” were you able to find the blessings, the gifts? 

It was wonderful.  Or at least as wonderful as it could be.  You put on a brave face, you smiled, but your mind probably drifted more times than you cared for it to.  It was probably a long day.  Your heart may not have always been there, it might have been someplace else.  You might have even had the urge to run.  To run to a place of comfort or to run after that which you are struggling to have.   It hurt.  And hurting is no fun. 

 You probably questioned why?  Why can’t this be what I thought it would be?  Why does love have to be so hard?   Shouldn’t love win out?  Shouldn’t love conquer all? 

Or, you may have wished you were as happy as someone else appears to be or perhaps wish you were that person for awhile. 

 Or maybe none of this occurred. 

I don’t know.

 I want to encourage you today to continue to be strong and do what is best for you and your family.  Remembering that you are never alone, we all have tough days! It’s about always learning to listen to our heart, allowing yourself to feel the day and learning the lessons.  In that process it the gift!

Peace be with all of us!

 ( thank you for this gift of a beautiful message that can be a remembering for all of us)

Would you rather….Guest Blog, Wilson Vessely

I got a new app for my Iphone, “Would You Rather…” I was going through some of the questions, some I had to think about the others were quick, but one question really struck me: Hate or Be Hated. I answered and after you answer they show what percentages of people agree with you and disagree.

So take a moment, would you rather hate or be hated? And as my mom would do, let’s take it one more step and answer why?

60% of people chose hate. I fell in the 40% category. I’d much rather be hated then to hate someone. Sadly I think some people already hate me, so it’s not to far off. There are people I don’t like, but I honestly could not say that I hate someone, it’s such a negative thing.

When I was in high school I “hated” people. I’d say to my friends how much I hate that person, but looking back on it now, I was jealous of them, but I labeled it as, “I hated them.” I don’t think I could truly hate someone, or to wish they were non-existent. Everyone has a purpose, even if it’s to be an asshole.

“All you need is love” -The Beatles

Wilson

Kindness

Living in a state of love is a choice and to mock ones decision to live from that place of peace is out of fear.

What are you afraid of? 

Someone seeing you as imperfect? 

We are all imperfect and that is the beauty of love, that we can choose to love the fearful too!  We don’t all have to look the same, talk the same or believe the same but we can choose to love the same.

How do you choose to love today?

Kindness takes much less effort than hate does.

Is It Too Late?

 

I have had a couple of days to digest the weekend mini-retreat “Languages of Love.”  I had such an amazing group of people that gathered to learn how to better show love in a way that made the other person feel most loved.

 The youngest in the group was 16 years old and the range went up to about 65.  I was blown away by the understanding and openness that the under 25 group had.  They seemed to get the fact that learning the way that others understand love will be a huge gift in their future relationships. 

But one person in particular surprised me.  This man is in a relationship that is on the brink of divorce, and it was very important to the relationship that he learned to give love to his wife in a way that made HER feel loved. I was faced with great opposition from this person.  If it didn’t feel like love to him, then he could not understand how it could feel like love to someone else.  I tried to explain that filling someone’s love tank had to do with loving HER in the way that feels like love to her.  One of the greatest gifts we can give to another person is to do something for them just because we want to see that other person feel loved. 

After everyone left that afternoon, I had to wonder is it just too late for them? 

Love is a choice, changing your mindset is a choice.  Being able to see past your own wants and needs is a choice.  The answer is NO!  It is never too late. 

 But then again too late is also a choice, and that is up to him to decide.   

I can only hope that something touched his heart and opened a crack to start letting love in and out. 

Love is bigger than fear.

Hey Girl, Guest Blogger-Erik Sanford

Is it from your head or your heart?

Do you know that there are two ways to have the same conversation? 

Most of the time when we are in a verbal fight with someone we are talking from our head.  We say things that are hurtful or belittling because we feel hurt.  As I’m thinking about this most of all conversations are from our head.  Most of the time we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to speak from our heart.  Our first defence is from our head (ego) and second from our heart (love). 

Men seem to be the pros of head talking while women talk more from the heart.  It seems to be apart of our culture, what is acceptable in the roles that we play as male or female. 

How do you show up most of the time in conversations? 

In your actions and reactions from your head or your heart? 

How does the place that you are thinking from affecting your relationships with others?

The Givens of Life

The things we can not change:

Everything Changes And Ends

Suffering Is A Part Of Growth

Things Do Not Always Go According To Plan

Things Are Not Always Fair

People Are Not Loving And Loyal All The Time

These are examples not just of the conditions of existing but also of evolving.  They help us to be able to unfold with character, purpose and meaning.  Only in this passing world do we keep aiming for the timeless.  Only through suffering do we find our inner strength and our need for others too.  Only in this unpredictable universe do we expend all the effort we can muster and then some more.  Only in the face of injustice do we work for justice and act with mercy.  Only among people who sometimes hurt or betray us do we find the CHOICE of love over retaliation and thereby grow in compassion.

Taoist Han Hung says: ” The biggest risk is to trust that these conditions are all that we need to be ourselves.”

That said:

EVERYTHING CHANGES AND ENDS yet can be renewed.

SUFFERING IS PART OF GROWTH yet we keep finding ways to bring good.

THINGS DO NOT ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN yet we can find the strength to say yes to what is and thanks for what has been.

THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS FAIR yet we can be fair and even generous.

PEOPLE ARE NOT LOVING AND LOYAL ALL THE TIME yet we do not have to retaliate but can ourselves act with love and loyalty, never giving up on others.

In the face of fear is a cry for love.

I choose love.

This little light of mine…

I’m going to let it shine. 

Let it shine, let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel basket?

No, I’m going to let it shine.

In the light of my shining soul, I can see your darkness and your light.  I can see if you belong or feel alone.  I can see the changes that you are making and the lives you are touching.  I can feel your light shining on my light because we are one.

Who I am to know these things?  I am you, who, knows these things too.

When we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 

Spreading the love, the light, and the oneness of us all.

Much love and peace today!

I imagine…

I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense that once hate is gone they will be forced to deal with pain.

 We often step into hate more quickly than we step into love because we believe that someone else is hurting us and we cannot accept that we are creating our own pain and suffering.  When we stop looking outside of ourselves for the source of pain we have made the first step towards healing it. 

What do you think?

Humility

To be humble is to be in a state of reflecting, expressing or offered in the spirit of deference.

That is to best possible word to describe how I feel as I’m embarking on this Forgetting 2 Remember weekend seminar.

This journey, since March, has been a whirlwind of creating, growing, learning and becoming all that it is for the beautiful Souls that will be coming to spend the weekend with us starting tonight.

I’m so graciously humbled by all the love and support that I have been given. 

I thank you for being apart of this journey in whatever way that it is for you.  Whether you just log in every morning to read my blog, call with an encouraging word, drive hours to be able to help or just right out give of your services.  Every gesture gives me hope, everyday, that this work is touching lives and for that reason I am deeply humbled and grateful!

I will talk to you again on Monday with highlights from the weekend!

Much Love and Peace,

Derinda